The difference between winning bronze and losing gold

I've been watching the winter Olympics - I'm a sucker for them - and one of the things that I have noticed is the difference between athletes.

There are those for whom just competing truly was all that they were hoping for and when they place third and actually get to stand on the podium and receive a medal it is clear that this was far beyond their wildest dreams and something that they will cherish their whole lives.

Then there are those who clearly expected to win and placing second or third wasn't winning a silver or a bronze medal - it is losing the gold. It is not having the thing that they expected happen for them. They are the ones standing on the podium with a scowl on their faces, glaring at the winner - or gamly trying (and failing) to cover their disappointment.

I wonder what are the things in our lives where just competing is joy enough and placing third is the icing on the cake. And what are the things where we expect to do so well that being the third best in the world is a failure? And how can we move from the second category to the first?